Wishes he would pay attention to me again, like when we were young.
29 days.
For the last 300 days or so i have been counting down days, marking calenders and preparing myself for the day i become a woman. June 1, 1989 at 5:36 am and a shocking 6 lbs 3 oz. I was Born it has only taken 21 years for me to get here.. what a shame i feel like crap i have spent 21 years of my life to only get HERE? I work Full time, Go to school part Time, and try to make enough money to pay my bills and still have a somewhat enjoyable life.. when does this get easier? never my mom says. lovely just lovely 10 years from now i swear if i am not married ill be pissed.. really pissed. However i do have a nice weekend planned for my birthday.. Its a tuesday sadly but a majority of my friends will be home so it shouldn’t be soo bad. But then again not everyone is twenty one (Brie and Jason) Sheesh Hurry Up guys. That night i am eating dinner at P.F Changs ( my favorite) and supporting the gambling association later that week i have lunch dates and such.. but that weekend i am going to a phillies game on friday (with meg and jimmers) and then that saturday ill leave for NY to see my brother and susan.. Im looking forward to getting out of town for a day.. it will be a relief to not see South jersey no offense) I hope that over the next year i grow as a person, i want to mature and really get to know myself. I have been so happy this year making new friends and re connecting with old ones but i feel like my life is still incomplete. I wish i went away to college, maybe i would be happier.. then again im happy that i have the people in my life that i do and i wouldn’t change it for the world.. P.S Got accepted to Stockton. WOOT. and i am going back to full time in the Fall. im excited im ready to get this shit done, even though my degree wil be pointless. ha… no not HA. im scared and fucked if this shit with the no teaching jobs does not work itself out…
Oh well. Time for bed. I need to somehow fit studying in with my 40 hours of work this week.. Here is a balloon.
One day things will work out.
I left my classroom today. I Cried… I have grown so attached to my kids and i mean well more attached to the way they say my name lol.
My services were no longer needed in the Twaddler Classroom/ Best Friend Room. My Kids got older and so that meant they had to move up to the next level. Although i am proud that they are starting to engage in actual conversation and use the “Potty” I Will Miss working with meghan aka ” Menan or My Other Half”
So as my children move up so do i. I moved up with the older kids into the Preppers Room with the spawn she devil head teacher.. She Looks Something Like This.
Hair Is Actual Size.
One Good Thing is coming out of this. My Boyfriend/Best Two Year Old Friend Colin is moving up with me. He keeps me Sane by calling me ” Emney” Em-Knee. Hes Blonde, Cute and remembers everything about me including what necklaces i wear and what my favorite color is. He Greets my every morning with a hug and reminds me why i kinda like coming to work. Today I cut my wrist while making Paper Chocolate Chips and he ran over and said ” emney got boo boo, I KISS it feel so much better” .. Kid has my heart.
Hopefully this classroom is not going to be as bad as i thought.. I have exactly 60 days till i can go back to my old classroom and begin with a new group of kids to mold and fall in love with.
For Brie
I hate work, everyday it gets more difficult to walk in with a smile. I finally get settled then some other ignorant person messes up in their classroom and i have to run to fix it and end up spending a month in their room cleaning up their mess. I miss my kids.. i went in my room the other day and colin ( my love ) cried and ran to me and refused to let go, i cant stand being away from them :(
Lifestyle of the Poor and Petty.
Busy, Busy Busy
Especially with all of the holidays coming up, i feel like i have no time to just sit still.. hence me spending my time on the internet right now.. i work 9 hours a day and then have to find rides home and such its really exhausting, but good news i will officially be able to pick up my car on wed. or at the latest saturday i cannot imagine anything else going wrong with this car so i pray that i can drive away with out a problem :)
Jon and i are also purchasing our x mas tree on wed. lovely never had a tree before im a hanukkah girl at heart and am still trying to get myself used to the idea of not having a holiday with my fam.
Its depressing but i feel like im moving up :)
My life is an Awkward Disaster.
Work is really starting to get to me, 40 hours a week at tutor time plus the four nights a week i babysit its honestly getting to be a little much. I need like a solid week of no work.. to make it better i offered to work double shifts over christmas that way someone who has children and well.. that is not a jew could use the time to see their families.. How nice of me right? i may have just completely ruined my social life…
On the Brighter side, jon and i have decided that we will be staying in our apartment another year, its finally really coming together as a home and its like why give up now while everything is starting to look good! * This weekend i am re-hanging my curtains and doing a In depth cleaning job* I am glad we are staying here ya know it feels good that he is still willing to live here with me and that he has not yet said bitch you crazy and got a one bedroom rental far far away from here.
On a more depressing note, jon has also thought about joining the military.. again but this time he seems determined. he said the rent will be paid while he is gone so i can still live here and if i decided to leave him while he is away just to tell his lawyer and to be so kind as to put his things into his storage unit.. yeah jon lovely plan.. He did say though we could get married :) i mean he said its so he can get twice as much money for being away in boot camps and such but idk im not trying to marry someone who is just leaving for a long time… not to much fun
P.s - No car.. STILL.. FML.
Holiday Season
Hanukkah is next week but i am more excited for christmas, which is especially odd for me.
Work is going like scary amazing, i love my kids and my co-workers its like a family there. i even have some of them asking to hang out with me outside of work making it neat that i am actually excited to go to my saturday training session with everyone it will be nice to see how everyone is with out the hassle of kids around and stress of work..
I still have no car :(
I feel like worthless i hate depending on people for rides and im stressing about getting to work everyday it really honestly sucks. On the plus side whenever i do get this car that i already made my down payment on it should have no problems for what i would consider a long time because they are fixing just about everything that could go wrong in a vehicle.
Its 10pm and im exhausted, i worked today just like every other day.. its raining out and jonathan is already asleep so god is just pushing for me to get some sleep tonight and possible make up for the lack of hours that i have been getting lately.
Do me a favor god and fix my car. K thanks.
